Why you should never stop dating… yourself.

I was married for 16 years. In that time, I did what I thought every good wife should do – give herself fully to her husband. I took the “one flesh” part of the Bible to heart and I did everything with my husband. If I was there, he was too. If he didn’t feel like going, I didn’t go. Little did I know that this behavior would result in me losing the one thing I needed the most to be a good wife – myself.

dating myself

There is a Chinese proverb that says, ““You cannot give from an empty vessel. To give to others, you must fill yourself.” This is what dating yourself is all about. When you continue to date yourself, whether you are married, in a relationship, or single, you allow yourself to stretch and grow as a person. You also allow yourself indulgences, like belting “I Will Survive” at the top of your lungs, that help you return to your other relationships (friendships, romantic relationships, even co-workers) refreshed and energized… ready to give.

Daily Exercise: How will you date yourself this week? Plan some time to go out, alone, and do something. Spend some time with just you, even if its in a group setting (like a painting class).

This weekend, I am going to Van Gogh and Vino to paint a flower for myself. The word Love is in the painting which, to me, symbolizes the love I must show myself in order to continue to give to others: as a coach, as a friend, as a daughter, and a sister. All of these relationships require me to fill my vessel first.

Other activities I have planned:

I challenge you to find some place new you have never explored before, even if its a park in your neighborhood. When you discover new things, you discover something new about yourself as well.

Sit down and spend some time with yourself. It’s a steady relationship. Nourish it!

It’s time to be stupidly happy.

Today, I was working on a project and minimized everything on my screen. There he was, a little bit of happy. It was a rabbit yawning. It was so cute I had to call the others in the office over to look at it. “There, I said… I had to share that little bit of happy with you.” The smile faded and I went on with my day. Then, I found a quote.

Man is the only animal for whom his own existence is a problem which he has to solve. – Erich Fromm

As I go about my day, I see people lament their situation. People will rant about what pissed them off. People will cry “why me” when faced with life situations. People will question every little aspect of their lives and what’s going on with it.

What do I say to that? Be the rabbit. Yawn in the morning and don’t care what you look like or how your breath smells.

Sometimes that little voice in our heads which analyzes every aspect of our day actually holds us back from embracing that little bit of happy.

Todays Exercise: Be unabashedly enthusiastic about something that makes you smile or makes you happy. Share it on Facebook. Show the people you work with. Allow yourself to laugh a loud appreciative laugh and bear a big stupid grin.

It’s these little moments of happy that help you live in a mindset of happiness, no matter what is going on.

Now, enjoy this picture of an adorable yawning rabbit.

 

 

Have you made up your mind to be happy?

happyas

Abraham Lincoln once said, “most folks are about as happy as they make their minds up to be.” Those words ring as true today as they were when he said it. Mindset is an integral part of success. Whether you believe in Law of Attraction or not, your attitude makes all the difference in the world when it comes to the outcome of any human relationship (business, romantic, platonic or otherwise). When you drag yourself down with negative self-talk, second guessing yourself or continuously compromising – you chip away at that happiness. Try this instead, reframe the situation! You may be going into a negotiation. Make up your mind that the outcome will be happy, a win-win. By framing the negotiation as a collaborative versus combative affair, you can disarm a potentially contentious discussion.

Today’s Exercise: Do you have something important to bring up? Make up your mind to be happy and have a happy outcome before the discussion starts. Maybe you have to bring something up to a business partner or even your spouse. Take a moment. Take a breath. Visualize the outcome you want.

How did it go? Did you walk into the situation calmer? Did calming yourself down beforehand and resetting your mind toward a happy outcome produce different results than if you would have walked in with anxiety?

Get some free coaching on it by commenting below.

Need more help? Contact us!