Yesterday, I watched a very compelling video about cell phone use and how it can make a partner feel alienated, alone, and unimportant. If you missed it, watch it right here.
There are dozens, if not hundreds, of little things we do to test our relationships. Those relationships can be business, romantic, sexual, or just plain friendly. These tests are designed to set up boundaries, test boundaries, and protect ourselves. Sometimes, though, the tests go too far. This results in missed opportunities as you push away potentially great relationships, business partners, friends, and lovers. If you have people cycling in and out of your life at a frequent pace, you might be doing this to yourself. It can result in job loss, heart break, and unfulfilled goals and dreams. If you haven’t caught the jist yet, it’s not a good thing.
1) Do I distrust immediately or do I wait for trust to be broken?
2) Do I ask myself, where is this going to fail?
3) Do you start trying to fix problems before problems occur?
4) Do you test business partners by coming up too close to or missing deadlines, unintentionally not delivering or breaking promises, rescheduling meetings on a short time frame?
5) Do you have a set of standards in mind that, if not strictly upheld, that person is out of your circle?
6) Are you as hard on others as you are on yourself?
7) Do you challenge others often and end up in heated discussions?
8) Does life/work feel like a game of “Survivor” where either you compete or you are voted off the island?
9) Do you isolate yourself from individuals or groups by directing your attention to your cell phone, the television, or something that takes you away from the present moment?
10) Do you voice your concerns or do you “stuff” them and build resentment?
Answer these questions openly and honestly with yourself. You don’t have to tell anyone your answers. However, if you answered YES to three or more of these questions, you may be sabotaging your relationships. Reframing your mindset is key to keeping an open mind. If you need assistance in doing this, feel free to contact us.